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  • Writer's pictureBeverly H.

How God Really Feels About Sex

Post Title: How God Really Feels About Sex (and Why)

Good Sex, God Says Get Some

God gets a bad rep as a sex hater. Yes, the Bible throws a lot of punches at a variety of sexual immorality. But no, being a buzzkill is not God’s deal. In fact, read Song of Solomon. It’s horny poetry that Solomon wrote to his wife about her “garden” and amazing breasts. And God was cool with that, y’all.

He was the first matchmaker of all time with Adam and Eve. He told them to go nuts The last verse in that section is, “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Gen. 2:25). Two naked lovers gettin’ it on throughout the best vacation paradise ever known. Niiice. This is God’s holy word, people. See The Single Person’s Desire For Good Sex.

Paul talks a ton about it in 1 Corinthians. He encourages married people to keep making love to fulfill their sexual appetite and avoid fulfilling it via other sexual temptations (7:3-5).

Did God Actually Say That?

The Bible clearly endorses sex within marriage, but I recently wondered if it actually clearly states that people shouldn’t have sex before marriage. I mean, that’s what churches are pushing, right? In a nutshell, the Bible does declare this a sin, but it’s easy to misunderstand. It takes a deeper understanding of context plus how translated words in key sex verses are used in other parts of the Bible too. God also repeatedly shows us this truth through tons of examples in the Bible. He doesn’t pretend that godly people don’t sin through premarital sex. Instead, He's open and real about what happens when people sin through premarital sex. He shows natural consequences and Godly consequences of premarital sex throughout the Bible. If you have all of the information, it's obvious.

Most sources who argue that the Bible doesn’t prohibit sex before marriage don’t have all the information. I don’t exactly knock them for it because you have to be a scholar to piece it all together (see link #2 below). When you have all the info, God's feelings about premarital sex are clearly against it, and strongly so. Justifiers also ignore countless biblical stories of God’s responses to premarital sex throughout the Bible.

Here are some sources of truth:

Warning: We’ve got to be really careful about any question beginning with, “Did God really say…” That’s what the serpent said to trick Eve into humanity’s first sin. It’s Satan’s ploy. Check your heart. Are you asking to genuinely learn more about God, or are you asking in hopes to skirt around God?

What’s God’s deal??

I used to think God was really into rules, control, restriction, and telling people what to do. As I’ve grown as a Christian, I realize that’s not his character. The true heart of God isn’t anything like that. It’s an easy misunderstanding, but a big one. The Bible doesn’t actually tell us He’s ruining our lives with rules for fun. In reality, the Bible is the story of his ongoing pursuit of his people, over, and over...and over because He loves us.

He’s into us. Part of that is protecting us. He doesn’t want to see us drown in self-made turmoil. Rather than make us learn everything the hard way and have to live with scarring consequences, he straight up tells us what to avoid. Instead of locking us up to make sure we don’t screw up, he lets us run free to live our lives. Tons of people in the Bible get it wrong and become an example of negative consequences from sex outside of marriage.

I believe that many of God’s commands are practical. If you don’t love your neighbor, it’ll ruin your witness. Get with someone’s spouse, there’s gonna be drama and pain. Steal from a bank, you’ll probably be in jail. Murder somebody and you’ll wrestle with the burden of having taken a human life. Oh yeah, and their family might come after you. Then there’s that jail thing again… God knows this stuff, especially when it’s not simple, obvious examples like these.

When stuff is really complicated and we don’t get to know the full picture, his way is best for us. It’s His way of protecting us. God is truly looking out for us. He knows what your future will be if you weave premarital sex into it, and He is showing you the better way.

Followup moment:

Parents often seem like they’re out to ruin your life, especially during the teen years. Now that I’m grown with kids, that’s hard to imagine to be true. I want to bring them nonstop joy and smiles. I love my babes deeply and am constantly tempted to make them happy with possessions, treats, and flimsy discipline. I want them to meet every friend, enjoy every cartoon, and swing on every swingset in the neighborhood. Yet, I know John Doe’s parent is on the pedofile list, some cartoons are too scary for this age, and Kim’s swingset is missing some important hardware. I see one step ahead of every choice they make. Because of that, I seem like a buzzkill for holding my kids back from experiencing all the joy they are convinced they want. It’s not a power trip; I enforce rules and discipline out of my deep love and protection.

Answers from other Christians:

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